A Walk in the Park

Living in the Moment

Do you ever yearn for days past? Sometimes when fall semester starts, Mark and I want to go back to college. I asked my mom a while back if she ever yearned for the days when she was raising a young family, and she said not really.

Come to think of it, I really don't yearn for any particular time period. However, Mark would say on some days he yearns for the days when we were first married without kids. These days were short. Only 10 months. I spoke to Julie about this yesterday. She has 10 kids. She said it would be nice to go back to the days when she and her husband were first married and just took their baby everywhere with them, including long bike rides. Now this well-traveled baby boy is getting married.

The thing about time is, especially as a mom, it's very easy to think "this is the way it's always going to be" in both a positive and a negative sense. In reality, kids change so often, that rarely does a phase last very long. It may seem like forever as you are going through it. I certainly thought that the 4 year-old tantrum stage might last forever. She turned 5! It's over! Now the fleeting stage of "baby was doing so well at letting me lay him down and walk away when it was naptime" has ended. That was a good phase, last month. Now we are nursing to sleep. Maybe it will change and go back. I do kind of yearn for those days from a couple weeks ago. Oh, the ebbs and flow of motherhood and parenting.

I used to say on my mission that one part of mission life would always be a little out of whack, to keep me prayerful. Either my companion was difficult, my area was difficult or I was personally struggling. Some days as a mom are like that. One child is usually just a little out of whack (crying, having a hard time.) This too keeps me prayerful.

When Sammy was born, my dear friend Carol wrote, "What more could you want. You have 3 future missionaries and a best friend." I have thought of that sentiment often, as that's where my future is headed--preparing these boys for missions (and daughter too if she wishes) and nuturing my relationship with Caroline (and my sons too) so that we are best friends. While certainly a lot will happen in between, I think I like living in this moment. This current moment with my four is filled with disappointment over the Yankees, the excitement of learning new words at kindergarten, the struggles of sharing toys and taking turns, and the challenge of baby learning to fall asleep on his own. Reflecting on the past, I am glad we are this far into our parenting journey, and looking into the future, I am glad we are still in this phase of young children. So, I guess I will take living in the moment.

posted by Kathryn @ 11:26 AM